Google brought you here

People search for all sorts of strange things on google. And subsequently they find all sorts of strange things…

Here’s the list so far: (and for your convenience, in case you’d like to refresh your memory or read a few posts you missed, I have linked the terms to the posts where they were mentioned. Where possible. Some of them I have to just wonder…)

Puppy walk blanket – I would like to know: is this a blanket that you use while taking your puppy on walks (so it can rest), or is it a blanket that your puppy can walk on?

Smartness – I am the epitome of smartness. Not.

Little baby in 1969 – Yes, indeed I was. Now you all know how old I am not.

Drown kleinmond– That’s rather grim, isn’t it? But with that treacherous and steeply sloping beach, it really wouldn’t surprise me.

Siblings pee – Yes they do, but at my house, mostly in the toilet, and not simultaneously.

Horse peeing – I know I have mentioned peeing in my blog, as well as horses, and it is true that Moonman always neighs like a horse while peeing, but I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about horse pee. Maybe I should…

Hover peeing – I am particularly interested in learning how to hover, which I imagine is akin to levitating. Once I have mastered that, I will practice peeing while I’m up there.

Sabaru hair colour – Lots of these. I guess there are more Chinglish people than we realise, wanting to dye their hair.

Sofa, biker – I have one of each. I enjoy having the one on the other.

Cat in the hat party – That was last week. Sorry you missed it. And we were wearing ONLY hats.

Dr seuss character wearing thing 2 – It was actually a dr seuss character wearing THONG 2 at cat in hat party. Overdressed fool.

Egyptian boat painting – Sorry, sold it last month for $10000000.

Nudist sailing – That’s next weekend. Please inbox me to RSVP.

Place kreefgat– Notorious gangster hangout where one of our dogs comes from. Something most people try NOT to find.

Ship sail texture – Well, let’s see: it’s kind of canvassy, a bit like cotton, only stronger. And thicker. And water runs off it.

Pictures of Roald as a baby – To be auctioned off next month. Bidding will start at $100000. Don’t tell my son his pictures are being sold.

Rondavel floor plans – Draw a circle. Done.

Naked child boy art– Also sold last month, sorry. Got $20000000 for it.

A,ericanexpess – This must have been a bit of a disappointment surprise for the searcher. After selling all those paintings and pictures, I may well look into becoming a registered financial service provider.

No clutter kitchen – Not yet.

Minimalist house box – Is this like a kitty litter box, allowing minimalists to get rid of their toilets?

Sailing rope floor mat – Just checking, l before I mail your order. Do you want the floor mat made of sailing rope? Or sailing rope made of floor mat?

Kids mess house – Yes. Come back next week.

Harry potter tidying spell – Tried it, didn’t work. See previous point.

Long hair shade – Yes, I often create a shady tent with my hair, but it really is too hot outside today. And I have work to do.

Tricking him to marry you – Don’t do it. Just don’t.

Erica Neser (c) 2012

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rob Rubin
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 00:57:51

    I love these posts about searches. My top 2 right now are “fucking in Moss Point, MS” and “uncle sucking boobs”. And my blog is supposed to be safe for work!

    Reply

  2. Nevs
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 01:19:05

    just the other side of gravel bay….

    Reply

  3. meladjusted
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 06:42:48

    What? None of my search bombs?
    Super list though – I think I pulled something laughing – thank heavens for smartness 😀

    Reply

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