Fly On The Wall #1

Scenes I would have paid good money to witness

There are not that many people who can say they have been naked at Bertie’s Mooring. Moonman, however, is one of them. I wasn’t there to witness the events as they unfolded, sadly, but I can imagine the scene very clearly:

 Moonman and some friends had gone crayfish diving somewhere along our beautiful coastline. On their way back, they decide to go to Bertie’s for lunch and, knowing the Moonman, the compulsory cup of tea.

The friends are seated in a separate room off the main restaurant. They are the only guests there – the lunchtime crowds haven’t arrived yet. Their orders are taken and they settle into their chairs. Moonman starts to feel a little uncomfortable, since he put his shorts on straight over his underpants, which are wet from the dive. He decides to make a quick plan. Like Mr Bean getting changed on the beach, he proceeds to shuffle his shorts and wet underpants off, discreetly, under the table.

“The plan was to just whip off my underpants and pull the shorts back up,” the Moonman tells me. “It was all was going according to plan – both pairs of pants were already around my ankles, so the rest was easy.”

Unfortunately, while leaning back to get the wet underpants off, Moonman’s chair unbalances and he crashes over backwards. And, as Murphy’s Law would have it, at this very moment a large group of Japanese tourists are shown into the room.

“So there I was, lying flat on my back looking up at this group of people, with my legs in the air and my pants still hooked around my ankles.”

A second of stunned consternation follows, during which time the tourists are not sure what kind of African tradition they are witnessing.

“And your friends?” I ask, although I can already guess the answer.

“They were trying not to fall off their chairs laughing…”

“And then?” I ask, trying my best to subdue my laughter.

“Then nothing,” he replies. “We had our meal, we went home. No big deal… But is was very funny, I have to admit.”

Erica Neser (c) 2012

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. meladjusted
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 19:18:25

    Whahahahahaha – I would like to Google translate the Japanese blog of this experience! Oh Moonman you are a rich source of entertainment – thank you for being Erica’s Muse 😀

    Reply

  2. Rob Rubin
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 19:28:39

    Of course it was Japanese tourists with their cameras around their necks no less probably.

    Reply

  3. Lindie Bezuidenhout
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 22:06:52

    That is hilarious! Especially since Bertie’s Mooring is right on our doorstep and we know the place front to back (we live in Harbour Island).
    I must just tell you that a few weeks before the holidays, I heard a huge racket outside near the Villa Via Hotel. As any curious H.I. resident on our side of the estate would do, I walked out onto our deck to see what the laughter was about. It was a group of Japanese tourists about to go on the charter boat trip that depart from in front of the hotel, which as you know is near Bertie’s Mooring.
    They were laughing and chatting up a storm. They were obviously laughing about something hilarious and I doubt a boat trip alone causes that kind of reaction in adults, anyway.
    It was on a Tuesday. For some strange reason I remember the day and incident, since we do not see Japanese tourists very often around here…
    Now I’m just curious: exactly when did your Moonman “moon” the tourists?

    Reply

  4. Lindie Bezuidenhout
    Jan 27, 2012 @ 20:30:44

    Ons woon al 9 jaar hier en gelukkig het ons nog nie voorheen hierdie storie gehoor nie… Maar ek glo daar is ‘n groepie mense in Tokyo wat al baie gelag het daaroor. 😉

    Reply

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